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The next time you see a little old lady with shaky hands you'll remember this story:
A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door
of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few
feet across the store to the counter.
Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering
she asks the sales clerk: 'Dddoo youu hhhave ddiilldos?'
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies:
'Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models.'
The old woman then asks:
'Dddddoo yyyouu ccaarry a pppinkk onne, tttenn inchessss llong aand
aabbout twoo inchess ththiick.... aaand rruns by bbaatteries?
The clerk responds, 'Yes we do'
She asks:
' Dddoo yyoooouu kknnoooww hhhow ttoo ttturrrnnn ttthe ssunoooffabbitch offffff?
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( 3 / 118 )An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 86-year-old said, "Things
are great and I've never felt better! I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child! So what do you think about that Doc?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang!' Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old thought a minute and said, "Well, logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
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( 2.9 / 109 )There's hope that even in "old" age we can still create havoc!
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( 2.9 / 97 )First off this looks like something I would do but for those people who are PC (politically correct) this is exactly why you should always, ALWAYS... twirl once in front of the mirror before leaving the house. But just think how many people she made smile throughout the day.....
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( 3 / 66 )I know we all could use a little extra money these days so I'm sending you a Money Goddess!
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( 2.9 / 78 )
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