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Sometimes we just need to open our minds...
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( 2.9 / 62 )Come with me to a third grade classroom...... There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and
all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He
thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before,
And he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find
out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives...
The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, 'Dear
God, this is an emergency! I need help now!
Five minutes from now I'm dead meat.'
He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been
discovered.
As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that
is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of
water in the boy's lap.
The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, 'Thank you, Lord! Thank
you, Lord!'
Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy.
The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry
out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The
sympathy is wonderful . But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has
Been transferred to someone else - Susie.
She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. You've done enough, you klutz!'
Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and
whispers, 'You did that on purpose, didn't you?' Susie whispers back, 'I wet my pants once too..'
May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good...
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( 3 / 59 )A seagull in Marinette, WI has developed the habit of stealing Doritos from a neighborhood convenience store.
The seagull waits until the Manager isn't looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos.
Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.
The seagull's shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Marinette , WI, and helped himself to a bag of Doritos. Since then, he's become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips.
The Manager thinks it's great because people are coming to watch the feathered thief make the daily grab and run, and that's good for business, and especially since customers have begun paying for the seagull's stolen bags of Doritos because they think it's so funny. However, the Manager did say, 'This is Wisconsin, and if that seagull starts to grab a 6-pac to go along with the Doritos, I may have to put a stop to it.'
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( 2.9 / 74 )Something I think we all can use from time to time...
By: Reader's Digest
Ten ways to boost your metabolism and kick-start your weight loss.
One frustrating thing about trying to lose weight is the snail's pace at which the pounds seem to drop. Then there's the harsh reality that the more weight you lose, the harder your body fights to hold on to the calories it gets and the fewer calories it burns. That's usually about the time you hit the infamous weight-loss plateau--and start losing steam. But what if you could turbo-charge your weight-loss efforts without a lot of sacrifice?
That's where this chapter comes in. We've come up with easy ways to boost your metabolism, or the rate at which you burn calories. We've also thrown in ideas for cranking up the calorie burn of your workout--without making it longer. Taken together, these tips should be more than enough to shift your weight loss out of neutral and move it full speed ahead again.
Still, it's important that you maintain a realistic expectation of what's considered “healthy” weight loss. About a pound or two a week is ideal; much more than that is unlikely to last long-term.
1. Sip green tea three times a day. A study from the University of Geneva in Switzerland found that in addition to caffeine, green tea contains catechin polyphenols, plant chemicals that may boost metabolism.
2. Use interval training to rev up your workout. Walk for the same amount of time at the same intensity day in and day out and your body gets as bored with your workout as you do. Throw it a curveball with interval training, which involves varying the intensity of your workout throughout your exercise session. Every five minutes into your walk, jog for one minute. Every five minutes into your bike ride, shift into a higher gear and pedal hard for a minute. If you swim, turn on the speed every other lap. You'll burn more calories in the same amount of time.
3. Fidget. People who drum their fingers or bounce their knees burn at least 500 calories a day! That adds up to losing a pound a week.
4. Keep a small squeeze ball with you and work out your hands frequently during the day. It's one of the few exercises you can do anytime. You'll build up the muscles in your hands--and muscle, whether in your hands or legs, burns a lot of calories.
5. Don't starve yourself. Cutting too many calories can backfire in more ways than one. Try to subsist on morsels and your metabolism will slow so much that you'll not only stop losing weight, but you'll be lucky if you can peel yourself off the couch.
6. Put five rubber bands around your wrist every morning. That's how many 16-ounce bottles of water you should drink during the day to rev your metabolism, helping burn more calories. At least, that's what German researchers found when they had 14 participants drink about 17 ounces of water. The volunteers' metabolic rate--or how quickly they burned calories--jumped a third within 10 minutes of drinking the water and remained high for another 30 or 40 minutes. The researchers estimated that over a year, increasing your water consumption by 1.5 liters a day (about 50 ounces) would burn an extra 17,400 calories, or about five pounds' worth. Since much of the increased metabolic rate is due to the body's efforts to heat the water, make sure the water you're drinking is icy.
7. Exercise outside. Maybe it's the fresh air, maybe it's the sunshine, but something about exercising in the open makes you walk or run faster than doing the same exercise in the gym.
8. Turn up the heat with hot peppers. Some studies show that very spicy foods can temporarily increase your metabolism. Gourmet groceries often stock a dozen different kinds of peppers. Buy one a week and practice adding some to various meals. Spice up your scrambled eggs with minced jalapeno, add a little fire to your beef stew with half a diced banana pepper, or pull together a spicy jambalaya (using turkey sausage and lots of veggies).
9. Eat five small meals throughout the day instead of three large meals. You might think you should eat less often if you want to lose weight, but that's just not the case. By eating every few hours, you keep your metabolism fired up and ensure it doesn't slow between meals in order to hang on to calories. A "meal" can be as small as a cup of soup.
10. Sip a couple of cups of coffee throughout the day. Studies find that the caffeine in coffee increases the rate at which your body burns calories. This does not mean, however, that you can order one of those fancy calorie-packed frappuccinos! And skip the java if it makes you toss and turn at night.
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( 3 / 88 )A man was lying in his bed with his new girlfriend.
After having great sex, she spent the next hour rubbing his testicles,
something she dearly loved to do.
As he was enjoying it, he turned to her and asked,
'Why do you love doing that?"
Because, she replied, "I miss mine."
Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it????
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